The Family That God Put Back Together
Lynn’s Testimony
Mike and I met when we lived across the street from each other in Mission Viejo, CA. I was very busy in nursing school, but we dated occasionally until I graduated. Three months later we got engaged, and 7 months later were married on April 9, 1988. I was very worldly and living for myself. Mike and I treated each other like roommates, not husband and wife. We used our differences as criticisms against each other, instead of learning to compliment each other. I worked night shift and alternate weekends, and Mike worked on weekdays. On our days off together we had a bad habit of indulging in wine or beer, which fueled a lot of our problems.
I loved Mike, but didn’t know how to get past our differences. As a wedding gift my parents had sold us one of their rental properties. We had a mortgage that required both of our incomes, which I had agreed to, but one year after our wedding God brought us a beautiful baby girl in April 1989. It was a special time for us. I felt as though God had showered me with love from heaven as I held her in my arms. I didn’t know leaving her and going back to work would be so difficult. We could not afford our home on one income, and housing rentals were just as high as our mortgage. When my husband asked me to go back to work I rebelled strongly, making his life with me very hard. I began to develop bitterness and lack of respect for him. My uncompromising attitude placed much more added tension on our marriage.
I turned to God for help by praying to Jesus, saying novenas, and the Rosary. At this time I did not know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I had been searching for the truth; you see, I had fallen into a rebellion from my dear parents’ and God’s ways since the time I was in high school, and over the last 12 years had tried different methods to free myself of my past sins and guilt I carried. Needless to mention, none of them worked. I had wept and prayed the sinner’s prayer to receive Christ in my heart a few times, but never had a true conversion.
When I reluctantly returned to work I found it very difficult to serve two headships, my husband and my employer. I became more independent and self-reliant, but it wasn’t the way I wanted it to be. I had no way to free myself of these selfish, sinful attitudes that were aiding in destroying my marriage. I was consumed with the needs of my daughter and myself, and our wedding vows had less and less meaning. The true freedom to release those burdens and self-centeredness can only come from Christ, by placing your burdens and sins upon that glorious cross. We tried Christian counseling, but nothing seemed to help us. By the time our daughter was 10 months old I had filed for a divorce, and was preparing to move up to Oregon where it was much more affordable to live. I hoped that absence would make the heart grow fonder, and we could reconcile and start over in a new area, easing the financial stresses.
When my daughter Patty and I moved up to Oregon, Mike came up to visit us a couple times. His visits seemed futile though. Beer and wine often accompanied our time together in the evenings, and our lack of tolerance toward one another got worse. I began to wonder if the grass was greener on the other side. I convinced myself it was alright to date, because I was divorced now. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, but I began to date someone and shamefully admit, fell into moral failure. Mike was back in California, but I still felt we were one flesh. Even though I chose to go my own way and temporarily ignore what God was trying to show me about my marriage, He still never gave up on me or my marriage to Mike. It didn’t take me long to realize the grass was not greener, and things felt worse in this new relationship than they did with my husband. God used this bad experience to soften and humble me towards Mike.
After a couple of months I eagerly quit dating. My heart kept returning to Mike. I couldn’t ignore any longer the spiritual bond that God put between Mike and I on the day we said our wedding vows, and I knew in my heart I was still married to him. Looking back, my Lord remained so patient and faithful to me as He waited for my heart to ripen for salvation.
I started calling Mike every evening after work for a month, then I took our daughter and flew back to California for a few days to reconcile at whatever cost it took. Mike agreed to reconcile with me. He moved up here to Oregon with us, and shortly after our reconciliation, God gave us another special reason to stay together; nine months later, a beloved baby boy arrived into our lives. Sadly, our selfish struggles surfaced again. We now had two valuable reasons to “stick it out together”, but our love did not grow for each other, because we still harbored resentment and stubbornness. Five months later, by what I feel was God’s guidance, my generous father helped us buy an old farmhouse to restore on three acres. I say God because I was a modern day city girl, who had no previous desire or liking to live out in the country. Things got much worse in the stress of trying to remodel. God allowed our relationship to be further fragmented, to the point of exhaustion and hopelessness. We reluctantly decided to “throw in the towel”, but I knew my life wouldn’t be any happier, and I did not want to find someone new. I had used up all worldly resources in trying to be content, but all were futile. With all honesty, it was my own wicked, unforgiven heart that made me so miserable.
One night, while I was taking my turn on the couch to sleep, I was awakened at 11:45 P.M., feeling like I was buried in a coffin of unforgiveness, burdens, and guilt with no way out or anyone left to call to for help. I searched for things to do to distract me. Nothing made me feel any better. It was hard for me to even sit and read the Bible. I couldn’t watch TV, because just the day before my husband had thrown the TV antennae out in the back sheep pasture, which has been a blessing to this day. Nothing could take my mind off my agony. Finally, I did what God had been waiting so patiently for me to do. I went outside in the spitting rain and wept with utter urgency for Jesus to forgive me and make me His own, to be my dear, precious Daddy, whom I could trust and obey with my whole heart. I would submit and follow Him anywhere. He could take my life and do whatever He pleased with me. When I came back in the house it was 12:45 A.M. I had felt a life come into my soul, with an assurance that I was His and my sins had been forgiven. My words cannot truly reflect what I was feeling, but it went beyond any kind of love or joy I had ever experienced. What a miracle took place that night! All I had to bring to Jesus was a heart full of wicked sins; He lovingly took them all and filled me with the living God of truth and mercy!
I was so fulfilled and renewed. I had life and energy I’d never had before. I truly knew now that Jesus Christ was God and my heart was filled with His love. All my searching had ended, I found what I had needed and wanted all of my life! I was afraid to tell my husband for fear he wouldn’t understand and would discourage what I had just gotten. I was a new creation in Christ Jesus. After two days of living in my joy of being forgiven and having the living God in my heart, I couldn’t keep it hidden. I decided to share my new self with my husband. When I told him my experience with God, he looked at me and said, “You’ve been born again!” He understood exactly what had happened to me and was shocked. Incredibly, the same night I had met the spirit of the living God, He had mercy upon Mike also. God healed him of all desires for alcohol and any bitterness in our relationship. God had restored my husband and put a new life into him. The prodigal son had come home! A pure and powerful love came into both our hearts for Christ and then for each other. Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for His mercies and goodness endureth forever!
We received Christian discipleship from a pastor, and six weeks later we were remarried. Our life has never been the same. What was impossible for us to do was not impossible for God. It will be 11 years ago, that glorious night, Oct. 11, 1992, that my name was written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and my husband’s life with Christ was restored. God has continued through these years to be faithful and true, letting us always know He is with us all the way and will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5). He is tenderly showing us how to die to this ugly flesh, and the way to happiness. He will go through the rough waters with us. We have 5 beautiful children now and a blessed life in Christ that I am not worthy to have.
It is my sincere prayer that in sharing my sinful past with whomever may read this, that it will keep at least one soul from going down that path of destruction like I did. And for those souls so precious to God that have sunk down into the pits of sin and feel there is no way out, I want them to know through my testimony, that there is a hope through Jesus Christ and with Him comes a love and forgiveness unknown to the unsanctified heart.
Mike’s Testimony:
Back in 1977 my life centered around surfing and the cares of this world. One day while I was at Huntington Beach Pier, CA, a small group of Christians from Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa were passing out Chick tracts. I would take some and put them in my pocket to read later, while my friends would throw them away. On a hot August night I was drawn by the Holy Spirit and convicted of my sinful heart. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic, but even though I went through all the sacraments I knew deep down in my heart I was not saved. After reading through the tract “This Was Your Life” several times, I got down on my knees and prayed to receive Christ as my Savior. The first two times I prayed, God saw through my dishonesty about myself, then the third time I gave up all and surrendered my life to Christ. I had an unspeakable joy and life come through me with a peace I never knew existed. I saw everything through different eyes than before! I followed Christ about a year, but I didn’t nurture my newly found faith and the worldly temptations were too great. I sadly backslid and returned to my previous friends and habits. It was 11 years later that I met and married my best friend and wife of today. We were married April 9, 1988, in St. Killian’s Church in Mission Viejo, CA. I brought to the marriage my immaturity, social drinking, and foolishness. I was 31 years old when I got married and was set in my ways of living and lifestyle. I loved Lynn, but didn’t know how to show it. My self-centeredness and immaturity caused me to not put my wife and family first. This resulted in a lot of tension between us. About seven months into my marriage, I tried to restore my life back with God by going to a local Calvary Chapel in Laguna Hills, CA. My heart wasn’t truly repentant and I felt condemnation from 11 years of running from God. I was miserable with myself! At this time, I didn’t know God was using these feelings to chasten me and bring me back to Him. I knew my wife didn’t understand what I was going through. This went on for about a year. My wife and I grew further apart and by the time we were married two years we were divorcing, and she left for Oregon. I know God still had His hand on my life. During the time of divorce I sank deeper into sin. I was drinking, taking surfing trips to Mexico, and practicing immoral behavior. When I dated I knew what I was doing was wrong in God’s eyes. The verse in Mark 10:11, “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her”, kept returning to my thoughts. I felt like I was still married to Lynn even though I had a piece of paper that said civil divorce. Matthew 19:6, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” I didn’t want to think about it, but fortunately God still kept reminding me. After eight months God had softened my heart toward Lynn, and I was ready to at least attempt to reconcile and try to surrender some of my ways. Within a couple of months I had moved up to Oregon, but my baggage of bitterness and unforgiveness came up with me, and we began blaming one another for the divorce.
We moved out to a three acre farm and during that time our relationship got worse to the point that we were going to separate again. The next night I realized that I did not want a separation. God still reminded me of the verse in Mark 10:11. Then on the night of Oct. 11, I cried out to God to heal my marriage and went to sleep. That night my wife got saved, and God healed me of my drinking habit, bitterness and unforgiveness toward her. Mark 11:26 “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” I did not know I had been healed of all my vices until I brought home a beer, took a few sips and poured it out. I had completely lost my desire for drinking. Praise God. It has been almost 11 years now since this miracle happened and all desire for alcohol remains lifted, as though I had never drank! My mind and body continue to be healed from that curse.
A couple of mornings after Oct. 11, before I left for work, my wife decided to share with me what had happened to her. I knew God had saved her and she was born again. Right then the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “Do not cause my little child to sin.” I knew God had healed my marriage and answered my prayer. I repented after I realized what a miracle had happened between us. I accepted full responsibility for my actions without blaming anyone else. I was a new creation in Christ! God’s grace and unconditional love had restored a backslidden prodigal! My life has never been the same since! His faithfulness continues to renew and guide me in my life, marriage, and with our children. I owe my Savior everything, for I was blinded by sin and now I see; I was lost and am found! Thank you Jesus.
And if she depart, let her remain
unmarried or be reconciled to her husband; and let her husband
not put away his wife. I Cor. 7:11
Lynn and I would like to thank those loving brothers and sisters at Charity Ministries who, over the last 8 years, have unknowingly been used as the Lord’s vessels to us through your Tape Ministry and The Remnant. We will be forever thankful to God for their example as Christians and their boldness to proclaim the Gospel in love and without compromise.
Click the icon to download or print this article.
You will need word processing software that can read Microsoft Word documents in order to view this file. If you do not have Microsoft Word or a compatible word processor, you can download the free Microsoft Word Viewer.