My Lord and My lord

by Christy Kenaston

When someone asks you to give your testimony in front of a large crowd, don’t you immediately feel small and unworthy for the unspeakable honor it is to be a mouthpiece for God’s glory? Well, that is how I feel now as I sit here writing. No, I am not standing in front of you, but I do know that what I write will be heard by many. It humbles me.

I write as a young woman who is in the Father’s school and being taught many wonderful lessons. As an excited little child comes running home from school to tell her mother all the wonderful things she learned that day, I am also coming to tell you the beautiful things God is teaching me! I would like to share the sweet lessons that God has been teaching me in the area of marriage, most specifically the truths of my husband as my spiritual head. My prayer is that as you read your heart will be drawn, as mine is, to know all that we can know of the beauty of Christ in our marriages.

My husband and I, along with our little daughter, live as missionaries in West Africa. We live such a blessed life here, and we are thrilled to be in the center of Christ’s will. Life on a foreign field affords anyone who lives there many lessons, and not only lessons but tests too! Daniel and I have daily opportunities to die to our flesh. That is what we all want, right? Unfortunately, many times our flesh is weak. We have to live in constant connection with our Savior so we can live victoriously.

A few months ago I faced some tests and was being tempted to carry a downcast spirit. I felt my outlook on life becoming discouraged, so I went to my husband with my burdens. As I opened my heart and my feelings to my dear husband he looked at me in love and began to share into my life. He told me he thinks that I am carrying unnecessary burdens on my heart. If I have no conviction of any sin, I need to walk in joy knowing that I am free before God and my husband. While I don’t claim to understand the awesomeness of a husband’s authority in a wife’s life, I can tell you that at that moment my cloud disappeared. I was clear, released.

Now I am not saying that our husbands can forgive sins, but at the same time they ARE our earthly lord. Our relationship with our husband is one and the same with God. I have found this to be so true in my own life. When my relationship is strained with my husband, my communion with the Lord has stopped flowing. I stand in awe at the beauty of it all! Christ has designed marriage to be a ONE PERSON relationship. We are one flesh. When Daniel speaks into my life I listen in the same way I would listen if it were Jesus Christ talking to me. My dear husband IS Jesus speaking into my life!

Many woman have hypothetical situations they give wondering what a woman should or shouldn’t do when her husband tells her to do something. I don’t know the answer to these difficult questions, but what I do know is that God keeps blessing me and blessing me and blessing me to no end as I keep casting my total trust upon my husband. I cannot even begin to tell you the Heaven I have tasted in my marriage. May God continue to reveal to us what we can have in our marriage if we keep following His principles for us as wives.

Here is another example that happened only a few weeks ago:

Some of the recent decisions we have been making as a missionary couple stem from a desire to live at a level where our lives will be the least hindrance to the souls to whom we are ministering. This involves sacrifice on our part. One of the decisions we prayerfully made was Daniel going from riding a motorcycle to using his bicycle for transportation as much as he can in all of his village ministry. This means that he is sometimes gone overnight because he is not able to make it back before dark on his bicycle. My heart sank when the realization settled down in my heart, “I won’t have Daniel here as much as I used to because of this decision we are making.” A sadness came upon my spirit as I struggled with counting the cost. Daniel took me on a special date that day, and we sat talking over this together. I opened myself to my dear husband as he again shared the exact words God would have spoken to me if He were sitting there. He lovingly guided me into a right outlook and reminded me of all that God has asked of us over the years. In turn God has always blessed us more than we had ever dreamed! It was all so true. I had to be honest to the Lord’s faithfulness in the past. He has met every surrendered obedience with more joy and blessing than we could bear. Would it be true this time too?

Oh, my dear sisters, how can I relate the beauty that has come in our marriage these past weeks as I put my whole trust in Daniel? I gave up ‘my rights to have my husband’ for the sake of Christ’s Kingdom. My Daniel was right. We can’t out-give God. I have had such a peace and happiness about our decision since that day. We have tasted a deeper sweetness as God has made each time we spend together an especially wonderful building time. Our times spent together are a concentrated sweetness that more than makes up for the time we are away from each other. Isn’t the Lord good? What would it have been like if I had not trusted in my husband and rejected the words of wisdom he had from the Lord, not allowing Daniel to guide me? I cannot imagine. I sense God’s blessings upon me for trusting in Him THROUGH my husband. The truth that our husband is our earthly lord and its spiritual outworking is a mystery; but it is not ‘mysterious’ to me as it is a real experience I am living out day by day. I treasure Daniel’s guidance in my life. It is my soul’s connection with God. I pray that the Lord will always help me to keep that awesome hush over my spirit whenever my dear husband speaks into my life.

May we as wives learn what it is to be so utterly trusting of our husbands that we would never trust ourselves over them. We so need the strength and protection (physically, spiritually and emotionally), of GOD’S CHOSEN authority for our lives—our husband. As I said before God is teaching me many new and wonderful things. I desire to know all that Christ has hidden in this mystery of marriage.

I am seeing the gorgeous glitter and twinkle of a husband’s authority shining off this diamond called marriage. This diamond of marriage has more shining, heavenly angles than we can fathom. I would love to learn what twinkle of beauty the Lord has shined upon your life! I am just your sister looking forward with anticipation to the many more wonders the Lord will show me.

Deeply in love with my Lord and my lord,
Christy

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